Name: Tomoko Nakai                                                                                                               

Year: 1996  

 

 

     Ever since I was eight years old, I've been involved with English. And this is my eleventh year. During these eleven years, however, the total amount of time I studied English is small. I think the third year in high school was the year I studied most. Until I was in the 11th grade I didn't feel any necessity to study English because I had  always been in advanced classes and getting fairly good grades without studying. But in the middle of grade 11, I met a woman, and it  changed my life.

     She had been one of my mother's best friends and had been teaching English for quite a long time. One day I got a phone call from my mother and I was told to go and see Mrs. Mukai, the English teacher. I couldn't make out what was going on, but I went. On arriving there, she handed me some English grammar exercise books and told me to do a few pages from each regularly. And then at the end she told me to come and bring those books next week at the same time. It was not until then that I realized that it was my mother's plan to make me study English under the direction of Mrs. Mukai. At first I didn't feel like studying and, as usual, I thought I didn't need to. But after I went there a couple of times, she started pointing out my defects and warned me that my English was nothing to be proud of. I was really shocked and disappointed to hear that, but also very ashamed of being so over confident. From then on, I began to study English hard lest I should let Mrs. Mukai and my mother down. And I wanted them to praise me, for they seldom did.

     I kept on studying, but it took time for me to get results. I sometimes got sick and tired of doing English grammar and I wanted to escape from it. But about six months later I started getting the highest marks in tests. I was delighted and was gradually engrossed in studying English. My hardest time, I will never forget, was during summer of the last year in high school. I studied over 12 hours a day. That time I had to mail my work to Mrs. Mukai every other day, so I didn't have any day off. It was like hell. But every time I look back on those days, I don't know how to express my gratitude to her. She made me what I am today. And this is how I've studied English during JHS and HS period.

     This year I was so lucky to have this class. I learned many new useful strategies in class. I found it very interesting to experiment on myself. Though my own basic ways of studying haven't changed greatly, I've acquired some new things to add to it. And I also learned a lesson that once you find a way that suits you it can be used in any area and that it's up to you how to use it. Right now I'm taking French for my second foreign language. I believe I can learn French effectively by following the same strategies as I did in English learning.

     After finishing my first year in university, what I really want to improve is something deep in my mind. Whenever I speak to someone in English I have a fear that I might disappoint that person. Because I'm a returnee, most people think that I can speak English fluently, just like the natives. In short, I seem to have an inferiority complex about my English speaking ability. I know it's ridiculous but I can't get rid of it. I have this big contradiction inside me. So removing this, I believe, would be  one of my goals for the next three years in university. I'm being pessimistic now, but since I'm in such a situation I think I will be able to find out a really good way to get over this problem. It's not help from others that I want, but energy and beliefs which would prevent me from being overwhelmed by myself.

            I don't know what I want to be after I graduate, but I would like to find it while I'm in university. I want to absorb many things by means of English and choose whatever is best for me. I'll try to take advantage of my time and opportunities.