Confessions of a language learner and a language teacher: beliefs about foreign language learning and teaching [1]

 

 

                                                                      John Robert Schmitz/ Unicamp

 

O. An Introduction: in the beginning

 

            In this paper, I want to narrate my own recollections, on one hand, as a language-learner from childhood right up to my college days, and on the other, my personal experience as a high school teacher, and later on in life as a university instructor in the USA and in Brazil. My motivation to organize my remarks in a narrative is based on the pioneering work by Benson and Nunan (2004), Clandinin and Connelly (2000), and particularly, Barcelos (2006) who has been a leader in the study of beliefs in the Brazilian context.

I agree with these writers that narratives are a useful method for obtaining information with respect to beliefs about learning and teaching. A narrative obliges me to employ the first person singular pronoun  I; for Benveniste, (1971, p. 219) language functions as discursive communication with others when a speaker or writer (as in this case)  employs “… internal references of which I  is the key”. The first person singular pronoun allows me to announce myself as speaker. In many academic texts, the first person singular is often avoided and the passive voice is used.  Being a narrative of my experiences, the use of the pronoun “I” is unavoidable. For the psychoanalyst Ana-Maria Rizzuto (1993, p. 543) the first person singular pronoun [‘I’] “… connotes the awareness of being the agent of the act of existence itself and also of verbal or other types of actions.” As the narrator, there are certain risks that I will have to take. First of all, through this narrative I am constructing a view of (my)self. This view may not be a true one. My memory may indeed fail me. Very likely, I will consciously, or unconsciously, fail to reveal certain facts or experiences that have been unpleasant. No matter how hard I try, there will be a selection on my part. I believe what I relate here is “the truth” or close to what I think happened in my life. It is difficult to give a complete picture along with a personal evaluation of I what I have should (not) have done. There are many things I do remember and others that I do not remember (or may not want to remember).

 I view myself as just one of the millions of language learners and teachers who have inhabited this globe over the centuries. It is unfortunate that many of them failed to leave a record of their language learning. I am pleased to observe that many colleagues in the field of applied linguistics at the present time are writing narratives and investigating the narratives of others. [2]

1. Remembering things from the (distant) past:  elementary school.

         I recall vaguely my learning to read and write my mother tongue or first language, American English, more specifically a mixture of New York City English and Mid-Atlantic English.  I remember very faintly a teacher pointing to cards and charts with the letters of the alphabet, whole words together with pictures of different objects. I cannot recall the day when I actually learned to read on my own. I don’t think I was a voracious reader. I do remember reading some children’s books. I recall reading a number of volumes of adventure stories about the “Bobbsey Twins”. [3] Time has erased from my memory the titles of the individual adventure stories. I remember reading about the Romans and the Greeks. But some of the books that I received as presents from my parents, relatives or friends I did not read. Life is full of lost opportunities. I am to be blamed. I do recall leafing through some of them.

I do indeed remember buying comic books. I remember having asked my uncle, who took me for a walk one day, to buy a comic book for me. When we arrived home, my mother complained that that comic book was not appropriate for it portrayed scenes of violence, and maybe sex. I did not get a chance to look at it. It was duly confiscated.  My uncle was instructed in the future to have me select “Mickey Mouse”, “Donald Duck” or the very entertaining “The Fox and the Crow”. [4]   No doubt my first belief was that there was “good” reading matter and material to be avoided. Right or wrong, I believe this belief is still with me. Comic books taught me a lot about language, about dialect, and the written representation of English dialects as well as the working of the world. I do remember reading newspapers, the tabloid type with pictures, photographs and big type. Many years later, in high school I read the New York Times for it was essential reading in a course devoted to social studies and current events. 

            My elementary school education lasted eight years. It started when I was six and ended when I was almost fourteen. Time has not erased my remembrance of the frequent English grammar lessons that I had during the later years of elementary, primary or “basic education” to use the Brazilian term for early education.

            Relative and interrogative pronouns, phrases and clauses, direct and indirect discourse, active and passive voice were familiar notions from age eleven through fourteen, if my memory doesn’t fail me. I confess that I enjoyed those grammar classes but I don’t recall if all my classmates did. 

            I left elementary school with the belief that grammar study was important, but I never questioned why it was considered to be important. Grammar study was never intimidating as algebra and quadratic equations were for me. I think my belief that I (my emphasis) was not able to learn mathematics began in the later years of elementary education. But that is another story. [5]   I left primary school with a dislike for mathematics but enjoyed American History and world geography. An interest in history and geography was strengthened by my interest in stamp collecting and reading of maps.

2. Growing up: high school days in Brooklyn, New York

    

2.1   My first foreign language 

 

            In my first year of high school (Midwood High School, located in Brooklyn, New York), I elected to study Latin. What moved me to take up Latin was, no doubt, the prevalent belief at that time (1949!) that the study of a classical language contributed to the improvement of students’ reasoning. What the study of Latin did indeed provide me with at the age of 15 was a notion of the functioning of a foreign language, my first foreign language. I did enjoy the intricacies of attempting to employ the correct form of the subjunctive in ut clauses in that language. I had to take pains to respect the rule of sequences of tenses in Latin. (This practice helped me later on when I undertook the study of Spanish). I remember that some of my classmates and I appreciated our teacher’s efforts to point to words of Latin origin in English. Thanks to my secondary school Latin classes, I learned in my early teens that pecuniary, pugnacious and pulchritude came from Latin. In this way, a belief was confirmed. I took it as a fact that the study of Latin contributed to knowledge about words and that the language contributed to the expansion of vocabulary in my mother tongue. Another underlying belief that probably came from the obligatory classes in English that it was important to have a good vocabulary.  I have to thank as well my father and mother for both of them loved words. My mother taught stenography and typing. My father finished high school when he was forty and attended college and law school.  

            To be quite honest, I had to work very hard in my two years of Latin (four semesters) to maintain a passing grade which was 7. The course was conducted in English with emphasis on grammar and translation. I cannot remember exactly how many classes of Latin we had every week, but I am sure there were at least three 50 minute periods of Latin every week and possibly more than three. The students were expected to memorize declensions of nouns and conjugations of verbs. Homework, classroom activities, tests and quizzes were mainly translation exercises from English to Latin and occasionally from Latin back to English. If one failed to do homework every day, one would indeed fall behind and not receive a passing grade.  In the second year, we were introduced to Caesar’s The Gallic Wars.  We read rather lengthy selections of Cesar’s classic and translated them into English. There was plenty of grammar, with noun and adjective declensions, verb conjugations, the sequence of tenses and the subjunctive to master. The work was arduous, for even though the Latin texts were somewhat simplified and abbreviated, it remained a challenge. I did enjoy the readings about the history of Rome and the Romans.

            Two years of Latin were enough for me. The language was indeed a challenge and I did not feel that I was up to doing four years of Latin in high school. I confess that I was not happy with my performance. It was indeed a struggle to earn a grade of 7. I wanted to do better, but I perceived that the price would be high. So, I came away from my Latin course with the belief that the language was difficult and that one had to sit down and study. My belief was that in order to learn I had to make an effort. Learning involved personal discipline. I still believe learning entails discipline. One has to memorize language forms. Some learners need to memorize, others don’t. For me, memorization of form is important.

   2.2  My second foreign language: a early love affair

            One day during summer vacation, probably in mid-August, I chanced to look at some Spanish textbooks that my father used when he was in college. That language, after the study of Latin, appeared to be easy. I was able to read some Spanish and the grammar did not appear to be as formidable as Latin. There were no declensions to memorize; the textbooks, although traditional, presented phrases that could be used in the real world.  My postage stamp collection with many stamps from Spain and Latin America and my fascination with maps provided me with background knowledge that made the study of Spanish appear to be a useful endeavor. One belief held by Americans is that education should be relevant, practical with job perspectives. No doubt the presence of many Spanish-speaking people in the cosmopolitan City of New York also contributed to my electing to study Spanish. [6] It was indeed a privilege to live in New York where one could (and still can) with a simple turn of a radio dial, hear Spanish spoken, go to a Spanish-speaking motion picture and, latter on in the early 50s  watch a television program in that language. Spanish was viewed as something practical for there were lots of people in my world with whom I could talk. I think this fact is what motivated me to learn. One belief held by many students in the USA when I was in high school was that Spanish was decidedly easier than French, German, Latin or Hebrew. Whether a language is easy or difficult is quite relative. Believing that Spanish is easy was often interpreted by some students to mean that they would not have to work very hard. Such a belief can do a great deal of harm to students and is a destructive one that impedes learning. I have not forgotten one of the proverbs in my father’s  Spanish book: “Un hombre que vale dos lenguas vale dos hombres”. This proverb motivated me to learn another language. To be politically correct, I would rewrite this proverb today as “Un hombre o una mujer que hablan dos lenguas valen dos hombres o dos mujeres” . All languages demand attention and effort.

2.2.1 Former teachers must not be forgotten

          I remember my first Spanish teacher, Miss. H. On the first day of class, she remarked that she hoped by the way she taught her classes that we would see that she loved the language. No teacher had ever talked about her love of her subject!!  I came to Spanish with a strong desire to achieve, to do a lot better than I did with Latin. In the beginning, I feared not doing well. Fortunately for me, one day I caught myself daydreaming instead of actually attending to my homework. Concentration is the basis of good study habits. One also has to have discipline. Knowing when to turn off the television to sit down and study is the beginning of self-discipline. Nobody can do it for you. [7]   It was often difficult to get started with homework. Getting set and starting is often the most difficult step. In the beginning radio and later on television were distractions that made me delay getting down to work.  I made sure I studied everyday and in the course of my four years of Spanish (eight semesters, Spanish 7 and 8 in the same semester). I don’t recall if I ever failed to do my homework.  Ms. H was the only Spanish teacher who had us sing a few songs. I remember singing “Cielito Lindo”. The class was receptive. I regret that my own lack of musical talent prevented me from teaching my students songs in any language!  Of course, I used tape recorders and recording, but it is not the same as a live performance.

2.2.2 Finding my own way on how to learn how to learn

I remember using my own learning strategies. I never used the word “strategy” back in 1952 and I don’t think there was anything in the literature about the use of strategies. To memorize vocabulary, I would write a word about five times to be certain of the spelling while pronouncing the word at the same time. I would close my eyes or cover up the words on the paper and write them again to get the spelling right and to be sure the accents were where they should be. This learning technique worked for me, but may not work for all learners. I associated the form of the Spanish words with their meaning in English. Learning in terms of equivalences may not be the best strategy for all learners. I also did a lot of copying of the reading material as well as the model sentences in the textbook. I translated a great deal of the reading material from Spanish to English, put it aside for a day or two and then attempted to translate from English back to Spanish. This was not required but I enjoyed doing it. One of my teachers, Mr. R happened to see my notebook and asked me what I had done. I explained. I believe he respected my efforts but he did not make any comment. Keeping an orderly notebook with all the completed homework, vocabulary lists, class notations and translations were some of the strategies I used to be certain I did my best on all the tests and quizzes that we had.  I owe the idea of keeping an orderly notebook to a fellow classmate, Larry F. who impressed me with his note taking in class and his very neat notebook. I believe that students can learn how to learn by emulating the study habits of good language learners [8] .

2.2.3 Tests provided me with motivation and feedback

 Evaluation of students` progress was based on frequent quizzes, some of them came as a surprise(!) while others were announced. There was always a mid-term and final examination. Testing for me at least was not a tyranny as it for some students. I believe my Spanish teachers took into consideration participation in class, but grades on the texts determined, for the most part, the grade we would receive. I enjoyed those tests and was never afraid to take them, as they provided me with feedback and led me to believe that I was making progress. I did not have to ask my teachers about my progress for the good grades were evidence.

One day, my father bought me a bilingual dictionary (in both directions) and with this tool I started to keep vocabulary lists. This strategy caused me some difficulty later on in my university course and I will talk about it later on in this presentation (cf 3.1). With respect to the use of a dictionary, I did indeed use it to find words that I found in my readings. Different beliefs either for or against the use of dictionary are expressed in our professional literature on language teaching at the present time. Back in the 50s of the last century no teacher referred to dictionaries, learning strategies or autonomy learning. I am not criticizing them. Those were other times. If you examine Language Learning: A Journal of Applied Linguistics in those years, you won’t find papers on those topics. That journal was not even 10 years’ old (it was first published in 1945), four years before I began to study Latin and six years before undertaking Spanish, my second foreign language. How different the field was at that time! And how rich and dynamic the field is today in the first decade of the twenty-first century! [9]  

2.2.4   What was the method used?

I am sure my readers are expecting me to talk about the method used in my Spanish classes. To tell the truth, the method employed was somewhat similar to the grammar-translation approach employed in the Latin classes. But there were many differences. We had, from time to time, listening comprehension activities in which the class heard a short narration in Spanish (within our level of proficiency). The passage was read out loud twice by the teacher. Mr. F., I remember, gave the class frequent oral comprehension passages some for practice and others as tests. After a third and final reading, we had to answer questions about the story in writing or sometimes orally. Students could answer individually in Spanish. I enjoyed the opportunity to use Spanish in this way.

            Another activity that gave me contact with the spoken language was dictation, an exercise not used in the Latin classes. Dictation could count for 10 points on the 100 point examination. Dictation taught me to listen carefully and to remember the spelling of the Spanish words as well as those words with accents. I will have more to say about dictation when I come to talk about my language learning at the university level. (cf. 3.3)

          The classes were grammar-centered and each lesson had its vocabulary list, reading passage, reading comprehension questions, grammar explanation, and translation exercises from English to Spanish.  I confess that I enjoyed learning about the grammar of Spanish and recall the very day the teacher introduced the present perfect tense or “el presente perfecto.” As I progressed from the beginning and intermediate levels to fourth year Spanish, more and more of the language was heard in class. During my high school days, I began to listen to the Spanish programs on the radio. One program was called “La Voz Hispana del Aire”. Before we had television (1947), radio programs were part of our nightly entertainment. Even before I began to learn to read (and write) English, at age 6-7, all those who listened to the radio and turned the dial to different stations could not fail to hear different languages---German, Polish, Italian and Spanish. The radio was a veritable Tower of Babel.  Spanish language broadcasting was an excellent out of class activity that helped me in the classroom. No teacher suggested that we listen to the radio. I listened every evening to “La Voz”. What was not understood on one evening, was understood the next. 

2.2.5  One never learns alone

I was not alone in learning Spanish in high school. A fellow classmate and a good friend of mine, Frank M. who also studied Spanish, acted as a speaking partner. We would take long walks together and try to speak with one another. I met another classmate later on in high school who went on to the same university with me.  We both majored in Spanish. I spoke a lot of the language with Roberta G. who may be still be teaching Spanish language and literature in New York City. One sad thing is that we lose contact with former classmates and colleagues as life marches by. 

I also remember making up sentences and phrases in my head and saying them out loud, especially when my dog was in the room, so as not to worry my parents about my sanity! I believed (and still believe) rehearsing in the foreign language is a good way to prepare to talk with Spanish speakers. I would characterize my learning of Spanish as being communicative from the very beginning to the advanced level. 

            Throughout secondary school I took advantage of the rather good library open to all students. There were a number of Spanish books on the shelves, particularly basic readers. I remember reading a little book that contrasted Spanish and English. I was thrilled to learn that English “embarrassed” is not “embarazada” in Spanish and that “capable” in English is not “capable” in Spanish! Contrastive analysis began early in my life and a number of years before Robert Lado’s (1957) Linguistics Across Cultures.  Observing the lexical differences between the two languages was fun. [10]  

            I must confess that I was a bit confused as a young teacher with regard to Contrastive Analysis (henceforth, CA). On one hand, a good language teacher was supposed to use as much of the foreign language (in my case, Spanish) as possible. The use of CA in the classroom appeared to contradict audio-lingual and communicative language instruction.  It took me a while to understand that CA was intended for teachers.

            All in all, my high school days were happy ones. Algebra still continued to plague me, though. But I did fairly well in trigonometry and found it to be interesting.

            I believe the happiest moment was the day I was introduced by one of the teachers to a boy from Venezuela who knew absolutely no English. This for me was a wonderful experience for I was able to talk with him in Spanish and he had somebody to talk to. Students from abroad who were residents in New York City were obliged by law to attend school. That Venezuelan boy did not know any English, but he had to attend all the classes written on class schedule. The philosophy was that he would learn something even if he could not cope with all the subjects. Having him attend Spanish classes also contributed to his own self-esteem. My own-self esteemed was enhanced for I began to feel I was different. Self-esteem is important for all learners. I did not realize it at that time but I was slowly escaping from a monolingual and mono-cultural mindset or, to be blunt, prison.

            I want to report another happy moment. As I progressed from basic to intermediate Spanish, I was invited by Mr. R who was also a grade adviser and councilor to leave study hall to serve as a student assistant to him. He shared an office with another Spanish teacher, Mrs. G. R. (with whom I was to study in the following year). This work was unpaid and part of the belief that all students should serve the school in some way. Through this “school service”, I learned how to take care of records, put things in files and take messages. Thanks to this opportunity, both Mr. R and Mrs. G. R. would talk to me in Spanish.  I was able to use the language. Those were happy days.

2.2.6 Our/my teachers spoke Spanish with us/ me

I have not mentioned anything about the background of my high school Spanish teachers. They were all native Americans, but I think that one (or maybe two) teachers had parents who came from Spanish-speaking countries. I mention this for some students believe that only natives are capable of teaching their languages. I consider that all my teachers were competent. New York City Public School teachers had to take a written examination to select those who knew from those who didn’t know their subject. This public examination also entailed the writing of a composition in the language as well as a speaking and listening test. It would appear that to qualify as a language teacher, one had to show competency in the language.  

2.3 Beliefs about language learning as a high school student

Before I narrate my university studies, I want to set out some of the beliefs (shown in italics) I believe I held (and, no doubt, still hold, I confess) about language learning based on my high school experience.

I believed/ believe that learning a foreign language was/is hard work.

I believe/and still consider that some amount of translation can be a check on my knowledge of the language.

I believed/ believe that if one does not study everyday, one does not progress.

I believed/ believe that one has to like learning a foreign language, but liking is not enough for one has to study outside of class and to look for ways to use the classroom in the real world.

I believed/ believe that memorization was essential in foreign language learning. How  much depends on each learner, I feel.

Teachers can do just so much. I believed that I, as a student, had a responsibility to learn and to do things on my own.

 I believed/ believe that the frequent tests and quizzes contributed to my progress and provided me with feedback. It is always good to know where one stands.

I believed/ and still believe that knowledge of grammar is essential to reach proficiency.

I believed and still think that the knowledge of grammar leads to accuracy and fluency, in that order.

 

I want to repeat that the above are my beliefs. I think they contributed to my success in learning Spanish in High School. They worked for me, but that I do not want to claim that they will work for other learners.  I want to share a comment made about me by two fellow classmates. This dialogue occurred in class and I will try to reconstruct it as faithfully as I can. Classmate A and B had a brief exchange about me. I played the role of listener:

Fellow classmate A: (telling classmate B).  “John is really good in Spanish”. He’s smart.”

Fellow classmate B:  “He’s not smart.”  “He just studies.”

I report this dialogue not to debate if I was smart or stupid, but to ask my readers if I showed signs of autonomous learning or self-regulated learning. All my teachers did their job, but I don’t believe any of them taught me how to learn or how not (my emphasis) to depend on them. For Zimmerman (2002, p.65), self regulation “… is the self-directive process by which learners transform their mental abilities into academic skills. Learning is viewed as an activity that students do for themselves in a proactive way (Zimmerman’s emphasis) rather than as a covert event that happens to them in reaction to teaching.”  No one conceived of the notions “autonomous learning” or “self-regulated learning” back in the early 50s, as far as I remember. I want to ask my readers if they believe if I showed signs of being an autonomous or self-regulated learner of Spanish high school. For the purpose of debate, is there a difference between autonomous learning and self-regulated learning?

    But, so much for my high school days. In the next section, I will discuss my work at the university level.

3.  Making a decision: becoming a Spanish Major

     When I entered a major institution of higher learning in New York City, I knew beforehand that I wanted to continue with the study of Spanish.  The transition from high school to college was, on the whole, easy for me. As I said, I took four years of Spanish (8 semesters) in secondary school. In this way, I qualified to enter advanced courses in literature in my freshman year.  I studied at Brooklyn College of the City University of New York, at that time (1953) a tuition-free public university in the city also known as “The Big Apple”

3.1 Being a college freshman

The first course was an introduction to Spanish literature and was conducted by a native speaker who spoke, for the most part, in Spanish.  It was interesting to have an instructor who actually came from Spain. My first native-speaker Señor D’s  came from either Granada or Sevilla. [11] They were faraway places for me and in my imagination were both mysterious and beautiful. Señor D. noticed that I had made lists of the words I found in texts we were reading; this vocabulary consisted of Spanish regionalisms, a number of archaic forms, and words that normally occur in literary and cultured registers [12] . He stated that if I were to continue to make lists, I should add to the list the context in which the particular word was used. This was a good suggestion.  This learning strategy worked for me. But, I recall that mere lists of words caused me to confuse words as “congoja” (anxiety) and “cangrejo” (crab). Miss G. told me that to stop making lists! For her, it was not a good strategy.  But, with or without lists, who has not confused words even in their mother tongue?  

Some of the courses were taught by native speakers of Spanish and others by non-natives whose parents had come from Spain or other parts of Europe. The issue whether or not a native-speaker is better than a nonnative one was not an issue. All the teachers were competent. As part of the program of studies, I took courses that dealt with Spanish and Latin American Literature, Spanish phonetics, Hispanic Philology, Advanced Grammar and Spanish Commercial Correspondence.  Studying Spanish at the university was indeed different from high school.  Fluency in the language was taken for granted. The instructors demanded an understanding of literature.  Term papers should preferably be written in Spanish, but English was permitted. The goal was to write a good final essay on a Spanish playwright, a poet or a novelist.  I confess that I received some grades in the literature courses that I don’t believe I deserved. They should have been lower. I think my fluency in the Spanish led some of my instructors to believe that I would find the “key to interpreting literature” in the process of growing up. Writing a paper on Dickens at the age of eighteen for the obligatory one-year requirement in English is not easy, let alone writing a paper at that age on Cervantes’ Don Quijote.       

     I enjoyed those courses in language—Advanced Grammar and Spanish Commercial Correspondence and particularly enjoyed the “History of the Spanish Language” (Hispanic philology) that focused on the development of Spanish from Latin with emphasis on etymology and philology. I enjoyed learning about the origins of Spanish words. I do regret not taking the course in Spanish phonetics as seriously as I should have (my emphasis). The text used in the course was Manual de Pronunciación Española written by the Spanish phonetician Tomás Navarro Tomás (Madrid: Consejo Superior de Investigaciones Científicas, 1950). We were expected to learn phonetics as well as phonetic transcription. I found it rather “dry” at the time. Had I worked Spanish phonetics more, I think I would have done even better later on in life (in graduate school) when I took a linguistics course dealing with English phonetics and phonology. The phonetics instructor was Miss G. who was born in Spain and moved with her parents to the USA when she was a teenager. Miss G was indeed a supportive teacher, particularly of those who would speak to her in Spanish. She gave her students a great deal of input outside of class. It was her responsibility as a member of the department to supervise the Spanish Club, a student organization that met once a week during a recess period. I confess that at certain moments I felt a bit stressed in speaking Spanish with Miss G. The anxiety occurred outside of class for I was afraid of making mistakes. [13] It was in the Spanish Club that students and teachers could speak to one another in an informal situation. This contact reduced my anxiety.  The Club organized outings to movies, plays and lectures in Spanish. We enjoyed “fiestas” along with the typical “piñata”.  We visited Spanish restaurants and coffee shops where we could hear Spanish and drink horchata (hot chocolate or Spanish coffee along with churros). Miss G introduced her students to Hispanic Culture in New York City with an obligatory visit to the Hispanic Museum. It was through Miss G and Dr. M. J. B., another literature teacher that I became interested in Spanish or Hispanic Culture and Civilization. At the end of my second year of college, I was officially registered as a Spanish major. Becoming a major in a specific field represents a very important decision in the life of students. Not all students elect to major in a language in American universities. Enrollments in foreign languages, even Spanish and French, are small in comparison to English, History, Education, and Sociology not to mention some of the sciences. But fortunately student enrollment at that time was sufficient particularly in Spanish and French which enabled the university to maintain a full program of studies during the four undergraduate years. In the Romance Language Department of the University where I studied, one could feel that the teachers of French, German, Spanish and Italian competed among themselves to attract students to major in their respective languages.

          In my second year at college, I applied for a summer study scholarship at the Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México. Students were encouraged to study in foreign countries. Some universities encouraged their students to apply for a Junior Year Abroad program (3rd year) for residence and study at a foreign university. When I was a college, there was no Junior Year Abroad. Not all students can afford to study abroad. Even in the USA, many students worked after classes. To be sure, one can learn a foreign language “at home”. As I made clear earlier in this narrative, living in New York City is an advantage for those who want to learn Spanish. Had I been raised in the middle of the State of Nebraska, no doubt the opportunities would have been less. (No offense to Nebraska). No doubt things are different in that part of the country at the present time. The USA ranks fifth in the world in the number of speakers of Spanish after Spain, Mexico, Argentina and Columbia (in that order).

3.2 Breaking out: living in a new land

I went to Mexico in the summer of 1955. My flight, delayed in Miami for hours, arrived late at night in Mexico City in the month of June of that year. I had no hotel reservation.  A taxi driver took me directly to a simple, but clean hotel in downtown Mexico City. No communication problems with the driver. No problems whatsoever.

            It was a thrill to be in a foreign land. An early morning walk on the streets of Mexico City, a beautiful city for me at the age of 20!  I checked my baggage at the hotel and went to the university to register for courses and to find student housing.  An amusing incident occurred during registration. I helped some fellow Americans, who were not all fluent in Spanish, to receive information about courses and housing. One of the students, rather ungratefully, remarked that I was able to communicate successfully because I just knew lots of set phrases and I really did not speak the language. I was offended by the remark. My fellow students received the information they desired thanks to my intervention. The best thing I did was to ignore their criticism and go on my merry way. Research about language learning in the last thirty years has vindicated me, I believe, for one of Ellis’s (2005, p. 33) general principles for successful instructed learning is pertinent to my learning at that time:  “Principle 1: Instruction needs to ensure that learners develop both a rich repertoire of formulaic expressions and a rule-based competence”. My use of “formulaic expressions” did indeed enable me to communicate with the office personnel at the University.  I was happy with myself that day.

            Much importance is given to residence in a foreign country. I believe that one can stay at home and still learn a foreign language provided one has contact with speakers and time to study. Be that as it may, the opportunity to stay in Mexico during the months of June through September permitted me to improve not only my knowledge of the language but also to learn more and more about Mexican life and culture. At the University, I took a course in Mexican History and Culture and a course dealing with “La Novela de la Revolucíon”. Outside of class, I was able to meet Mexicans and socialize with them. I had the opportunity to interact with a Cuban resident in Mexico. He would give me a one-hour class of conversation and I, in return, would give him an hour’s class in English. We were able to work on pronunciation, correct one another, without stress, and ask each other questions about vocabulary and grammar.  The Cubans’ corrections of my pronunciation made me regret not having invested more in the phonetics course. I remember his correction of my pronunciation of the word “extranjero” I learned of lot of Spanish and began to see the problems that Spanish-speakers face in learning English. The opportunity to teach my own language was also a challenge.

            I lived with a Mexican family (a couple with five children) who resided in a rather large house; the husband and wife rented out three rooms and provided board as well for foreign students. One room was rented to a young American couple from California, the second to a young man from Kansas and one to me (from New York).  None of my fellow Americans spoke Spanish. They depended on me to talk with the couple who opened up their home to us. This gave me a certain prestige; it was indeed  rewarding to have to translate what my fellow Americans said to Sr. and Sra. Maza as well as what the Mazas said to each of them. Being viewed as a bilingual [14] person was good for my ego.

All of us went to the university every morning for classes. In the first few days of my stay, the American guests (I included) would have dinner together served by Sra. Maza with the help of two servants. I took a dislike to this arrangement for I was speaking too much English. It was one thing to speak English on the way to the university, but another thing to have to talk about things American with my gringo friends. I spoke to Sra. Maza and asked if I could have lunch with her family instead of the dinner with my fellow citizens. She warned me that lunch with five very young children would be difficult for me, but I said I liked children and would not mind at all. This decision was a good one for it provided me with an impressive amount of input. I received a great deal of listening practice for I had to hear what was being said in the various conversations that were occurring at the table. Listening to and speaking with children is a wonderful experience. They don’t slow down, make no concessions to foreigners, and do not engage in “foreigner talk” as some adults do. [15]   I did not understand everything but I was indeed acquiring a lot of language. Mealtime with the Maza family was one of the highlights of my first visit to Mexico. I was able to reinforce constructions that I knew passively. For example, Mrs. Maza would scold her four-year old daughter for making a mess with her food by saying “Lupe, no seas cochina!” I learned in context the familiar imperative form (“no seas”= “don’t be and the noun “cochina”= “pig”). Just before it was time to return to the States, Mr. Maza paid me a compliment. He said I was tenacious, (“tenaz” was the word he used in Spanish) with respect to my drive to always use the language. I believe that language learners have to be tenacious.  Nobody can do it for you.  A good example of the lack of tenacity on my part, I confess, was my attempt to learn how to play the piano. I was not up to practicing every day and became quite irresponsible when I met, at that time, young people who played the piano by ear and did not need to read music.  One has to control envy always. One thought occurs to me. Is there an in-born talent for music?  And what about foreign languages?

I returned to Mexico in the same months (June-September) the following year, in June 1956. That time I decided to say in a boarding house “La Pensión Española” where I was the only English speaker. All the residents were either from Mexico or Spain.  There were three meals a day with all the conversation in Spanish. For weeks I spoke not a word of English. What is the lesson I learned from my visits to Mexico? Living in a country where the language is spoken is useful provided one uses the foreign language every day and every minute. Avoiding speakers of English was a wise decision.

3.3 Learning other languages: some success and some frustration

I want to comment now on the last two years of my undergraduate course of study. The academic structure of my university allowed students to take a large number of free electives.  I took courses in Latin American History, World Literature in Translation and Greek Theater in Translation. Dr. M. J. B. suggested that I read the Bible cover to cover, not for religious purposes, but as a way to get “the key” to literature. Unfortunately I did not follow his advice at that time. But this reading did occur later on in life. Teachers’ suggestions sometimes take a long time “to sink in”.  I decided to take as part of the free elective scheme French I and Italian I, both introductory courses in those languages.  

The French course, I clearly remember, had a textbook with dialogues rather than prose readings. I recall listening to the dialogues in the university language laboratory. The use of the “language lab”, as they were called, was something new for me. We were encouraged to go on our own to listen to the tapes and I did take advantage of the opportunity.  I will provide more of my thoughts about the language laboratory when I talk about my own teaching.  To encourage me in my learning, my father purchased a tape recorder, a big heavy one. Listening to my own reading of Spanish and other languages was a terrible shock to me. I could hear that I had an accent in the languages I used. I was horrified! People in Mexico would compliment me on my Spanish. I believe I deluded myself into believing that I had no accent and could be taken for a native Mexican! Very pretentious on my part.  But this false belief (that I had no accent!)  empowered me to speak as best as I could without any inhibitions and without thinking about my performance. When I discuss my own teaching experience, I will have more to say about pronunciation and foreign accent in language learning.

Let me say a few words about the learning of French and Italian, both languages undertaken at the same time. I enjoyed elementary Italian. It was fascinating to observe the similarities and differences between Spanish and Italian. The Italian instructor, Dr. J de S. spoke to us in Italian, asked questions in Italian and explained the intricacies of  Italian grammar in English. I remember learning to sing “Santa Lucia”:

                     Sul mare luccica

                     L'astro argento,

                     Placida è l'onda,

                     Prospero è il vento,

                     Venite all'agile

                     Barchetta mia.

                     Santa Lucia

                     Santa Lucia.

            In the second course of Italian, we continued the study of the language and read as well an abridged version of Manzoni’s I Promessi Sposi or The Betrothed. I examined recently the full Italian version of that novel and must confess that I would have to invest, at the present moment, a lot of time in the language in order to read that famous Italian novel in the original.

     Not all my language learning was felicitous. I lost my motivation to some degree in my third and fourth semesters of French. Miss J had the class read one of Georges Simenon’s detective novels featuring Inspector Maigret. It was a good idea on the part of Miss J to have us read popular literature rather than classical French literature which would be beyond our proficiency level as early intermediate students, actually second year students of the language. Miss J was a French native, but did not use French with her class. She never asked us questions in French and, I recall, never tried get the more courageous students to talk. Her methodology consisted of having us read parts of Simenon’s novel in class followed by dictating lengthy passages for us to copy with our books closed. This was what she did everyday, if my memory does not fail me. She would then have us check our dictated work with the original French.  Taking dictations [16] in French is not easy owing to the disparity between the sounds and spelling of that language. I resisted Miss J´s approach. Perhaps if I had submitted, I would have a better ear for oral French and a better perception of the sound- letter correspondences or lack of correspondence between the two languages.  To be fair to Miss J, maybe other students in my class, who accepted the way the language was being taught, learned more than I did.  It is easy to blame the teacher.

All students are wont to compare one teacher with another. A good teacher for me was an instructor who varied classroom activities: some listening comprehension here, some question-answer sessions (in the language) there, some grammatical explanation here, and some reading there. I had nothing against dictation for it was used in my high school Spanish classes, but not during the whole class period, day after day. This negative experience contributed to the formation of a belief that I held as a student and still hold as a language teacher. There should be a variety of activities in a foreign language class.

            The fourth semester of French was dedicated to reading. Students were expected to know the grammar of the language. We delved into literature, specifically French theater, Racine and Corneille. Looking back at the experience, I admit that I was beyond my level of proficiency. I have no one to blame but myself. Both the Italian, French as well the Spanish courses attempt to pull students from level 0 up to an advanced or quasi advanced level in four years. As my readers will recall, I had a distinct advantage in the case of Spanish for I came to the doors of the University with four years of study in high school.

    I have always felt sorry for some of my students here in Brazil who studied little or no English before entering an institution of higher learning and expect to master English in three or four’s time.  Not all of them come from places where there are opportunities to speak English as it was for me in New York City where Spanish is spoken widely. If I had to begin a language in the university, I don’t believe I would be able to assimilate, in a period of four years, all the content one should know so as to be considered a truly advanced learner of the language.

3.4  Teaching Spanish: private classes    

The Department of Romance Languages at my college received calls from sometimes rather desperate parents whose children were having difficulty with Spanish and requested private classes for them. Spanish majors in their third year of study qualified to be tutors. I gave tutorial sessions in students’ homes. All of the students that I taught were in danger of failing Spanish and needed help. It was my job to get the students to pass their courses. The classes were remedial. Most of the students had trouble accompanying the pace of the course devoted to grammar- translation exercises, listening comprehension and dictation. To be honest, in many cases, I was hired to help the students to complete their homework, check if they knew the vocabulary of the lesson, and could understand what the reading selections and answered the question based on those readings. In some cases, I refused to serve as a tutor for I felt I was just doing their homework.  Helping students with homework is one thing while doing it for them is another thing altogether. Some of the students seemed to dislike the subject. It seemed to me many did not know how to study. I think I tried to tell some of them how I studied, but I don’t believe I reflected much on my students’ study skills or habits. At the present time, there is a lot of material in our field on how to learn. I don’t think this was the case in the past. [17]

 But, all in all, serving as a tutor, taught me a great deal about how to explain the intricacies of Spanish grammar to my charges. I had to give them dictations and listening comprehension to prepare them for the tests and examinations they would have to take. Unfortunately, I was unable to convince those students that knowing Spanish could be important in their lives. No doubt I taught my students in the same way that I learned. I was elated when the some of the students (or their parents) called the college to inform that their son or daughter had passed the mid-term or final examination. My role was to provide them with study skills and discipline. Giving private classes taught me a lot about students’ attitude toward school in general and about Spanish. I believe that when one teaches one indeed learns.         

In my senior year as an undergraduate, I was invited to teach English as a foreign language to Puerto Rican factory workers who needed to improve their oral command of English. [18] All the supervisors knew no Spanish but expected their workers to understand simple orders in English related to work on the production line. This opportunity was a different one. Now I was teaching my mother tongue to fluent speakers of Spanish. Once again, I taught my Puerto Rican students the same way I learned. I emphasized grammar but gave them oral practice in the form of questions in English for them to answer. I read short narratives to my students and asked them to answer questions in English. Had those workers been illiterate or semi-literate, I would certainly have had another challenge. That possibility never occurred to me at that time.        

Being a Spanish major in the USA caused significant changes in my view of the world. I believe I crossed borders even though I was within the geographical confines of my country of birth. With regard to formal culture, I exchanged Dickens for Galdós and Shakespeare for Calderón and in terms of popular culture, I substituted the Beatles and Elvis Presley for “pasodobles”, “boleros” and “meringues”. The serious study of a foreign language can indeed change students’ view of the world and their own identity. In my case, I believe I added other identities.

3.5 What were my beliefs about language and language teaching at the end of my undergraduate studies?  

Based on my college studies, I believed/believe that language study was much more than the study of language (vocabulary, grammar and phonetics) and included the study of culture and the way of life of different peoples. I believed/believe that good classroom teaching must entail a variety of activities in every class session.

I believe that residence in a foreign country where the language is spoken contributes to the understanding the culture(s) and way of life of the people(s) of that country.         

I believed/believe that a positive attitude with regard to the foreign language and culture is essential for successful learning.        

I believed/believe that there exists an aptitude of foreign language learning.              

I believed that literary masterpieces should be read only in the original and never in a translation. I think this belief did me more harm than good for if I had looked at a translation in my own language, I would have been able to understand the particular novel, poem or play much better. I thought that looking at a translation was sort of cheating.  

 

         I believe that it is extremely difficult to initiate the study of a foreign language in the university; basic and intermediate language study should commence in secondary school.

          I believe that learning in any field requires submission on the part of the learner not only to the “discipline”, but also to the teacher.  Isn’t it the case that all pianists, and ballet dancers, to cite two examples, had to place themselves in the hands of instructors?

I believe that learning two or more languages at one time may make it difficult to learn one very well.  Once again, this is my belief and it would depend on the language learning capacity of different individuals. I don’t regret having studied other languages, but I know that I am by no means (even today) an advanced student of French or Italian. They are merely working languages.

           I believe that studying a foreign language and getting to enjoy the language and its respective culture can lead to a change in identity. As a student of Spanish, I identified with the Spanish language and Hispanic culture. Language study in my case contributed to adding another identity in addition to my “original” identity as an American [19] from New York City.                               

I agree wholeheartedly with Alanen (2003:62) who says something very pertinent about beliefs. She writes:

             There is no uniform set of beliefs: beliefs are in flux with some beliefs still being “content items”, constantly formed and reshaped in social interaction, while others have reached the state of tools.

 

                  I feel some of my beliefs became tools for me in my learning languages. In this regard, Barcelos and Kalaja (2003:234) ask a very important question: “How can teachers offer opportunities for students to change their beliefs without challenging their

autonomy of making decisions as to what to believe?”

 

I believe my narrative is taking too long and I am getting bored talking about myself. Life goes by very fast but my narrative, it seems to me, is being spun out at a snail’s pace.  The readers will note that I have used italics to highlight my beliefs or disbeliefs.  Those of you who find my story to be tedious can skip the details and go directly to my beliefs.

 

4.  After Graduation: finding my way in the World

 

            On graduation day, during the “commencement” ceremonies, one is elated for something has been accomplished. One has completed a course of study. A degree has been awarded. I would like to thank the City of New York for the excellent education I received at both high school and college. At that time, there was no tuition. The Big Apple was generous to me and still is to those who live in New York.  But that word “commencement” is a bit frightening for we all have to make decisions, examine one’s options carefully and make a choice and start somewhere. Should I continue studying?  Should I find employment?   Those who have options in life are truly privileged for many people in this unjust world do not have any choice.

4.1 Studying and reading literature: a rewarding but humbling experience

I decided to do (post-) graduate work in the area of Spanish literature. I was fortunate to receive a scholarship for graduate study at Princeton University, Princeton, New Jersey.  I took six courses during my year at Princeton.  A course on the Poema del Cid, another course on Quevedo and a course in Dante’s Divine Comedy. To take a course on Dante with only two years of college Italian was a bit foolhardy. But reading Dante in both English and Italian were indeed challenges for me. But later on in life, when I became interested in translation, the benefit of having studied Dante resulted in a reference to Dante’s work in a paper of mine on translation.  In retrospect, I feel that I was rushing my intellectual development far too much. I never really heeded the advice of my mentor, Dr. M.J.B. to study the Bible in order to get a hold on literature.

4.2 How not to learn a foreign language

One other program at graduate school caused me a great deal of tension. In order to qualify for the doctorate, students, before certification, had to take reading examinations in both French and German. French was not the real problem for I did study French for two years and could have passed the reading examination. My mistake was to try to pass both German and French at the same time (my emphasis). The more languages one can read, the better researcher one can be.  But, to attempt to learn German in the course of eight months to pass the reading examination was an impossible task for me, even with the help of a special course called “Reading German” offered by the University to help students pass the examination. Learning to read meant hours and hours examining texts and looking up words. It all boiled down to merely decoding or deciphering texts in German. To make matters worse, the texts chosen for the exam were written in Gothic script, not in the modern script! I was frustrated for I wanted to, first of all, hear the language spoken, then use it dialogues, and slowly get on to reading and writing basic German.  Trying to read German just to pass a test to prove that I could read German for graduate study in literature was not the way I believed one learns a language. I never studied a language in that way, not even Latin.

4.2.1 Some frustration contributes to other beliefs

            This setback contributed to a very strong belief that I still hold today: I believe that the best way to learn to read a language is to hear it and have a chance to speak it. Listening and speaking come first followed by reading and writing. [20]  

           I believe as well that the four skills are not separate activities; all four must be integrated more and more as the students progress from the beginning to the advanced level.            

                I believe one can learn a language, that is, learn to read (and write a foreign language?) without learning to speak it. But for me learning in this way would be like eating a bar of chocolate with the tinfoil on it.

               

I do not regret having tried to do graduate work in literature.  It was a good decision to study literature for a year for that experience taught me a lot. First, I discovered that I would need to read a lot more of World Literature to really undertake doctoral studies. Second, I perceived that I was more interested at that moment of my life in language (my emphasis). Third, I felt the need to deal with people. I missed my private classes that I gave as an undergraduate and my semester’s work with the Puerto Rican workers. With all this in mind, I decided to apply for a position as a teacher of Spanish. My decision to teach the language did not mean that I intended to not read literature, that is, poetry and prose. Literature should almost be with us.  I believe that reading is essential to language learning, be that reading literature, history or anthropology.

4. 2.2 It should have not been a surprise: knowledge of Spanish and being a degree holder in that language did not guarantee a teaching post

Even though I held a degree in Spanish, it came as no surprise to me that I my Bachelor’s of Arts degree in Spanish would not qualify me to teach in the public schools of the State of New Jersey.  I had no education courses in college and in order to get a teacher’s license, I had to take a number of courses: History of Education, Adolescent Psychology and Tests and Measurements as well as Methods of Teaching Foreign Languages. To get a temporary license I had to take the first three subjects immediately.

        I chose to do a Liberal Arts Degree in Spanish. If I had taken the teacher training courses as an undergraduate, I would have had the required courses in education to teach in public schools in New York or New Jersey. But the education courses would have prevented me from taking free electives in Latin American History and International Relations. In addition, I would not have been able to elect as many courses in Spanish and the study of French and Italian would have been impossible. And my free electives in Latin American History and even the History of Russian and the Soviet Union would not have been possible. But, underlying this decision, there lurked a certain prejudice against Education. The only course in teaching was General Didactics given by an instructor who was not a language teacher, and worse still, monolingual. It irritated me to be told how to teach (in a general way) by someone who did not speak a foreign language.  Now that I have said this, let me jump ahead a bit (when I began to work in Brazil) and get off my chest my irritation with some (not all) of those teachers of English as a foreign-language (British and American) who really never learned the language of their students. I believe that a teacher who is monolingual or who remains monolingual even with extended residence in different countries is not a good role model. Writing a narrative is, as one says in Portuguese, is to “lavar a alma”! for one gets things that are bothersome out of one’s system.

    Fortunately for me, the system of hiring at that time, at least, for public schools emphasized knowledge of the subject.  Job interviews in the State of New Jersey were held first with a department chair who verified if candidates could speak the language they were going to teach. Later on, there was an interview with the principal.  In my case, having lived for two summers in Mexico was a point in my favor.    

4.3 A new field of knowledge: education

My readers will observe that I began my career as a public secondary school teacher in the State of New Jersey with no practice or student teaching (as I would have had if I had taken Education in college).  Teaching Foreign Language Methodology was taken in-service in order to get the regular license. In my mind, I believed I was ready to teach based on my own observations of my high school and college teachers and my own private classes. I did find the course in the History of Education quite pertinent; the course in adolescent psychology made me worry a great deal about how to handle children in groups of 25. I found “Tests and Measurements” to be quite complex and I was not able see how I could use the knowledge about means and standard deviations in evaluating my prospective students’ progress. This was back in 1958.  Robert Lado’s classic Language Testing which dealt with tests and measurements in foreign language teaching and English as a foreign language did not appear until 1964. A major journal in language testing with the title Language Testing began in 1983. I regret my resistance to the “Tests and Measurement” course at that time. I was not able to see how that discipline could be useful in teaching foreign languages. The concern with means, standard deviations and bell-shaped curves frightened me a bit. To confess, they still do. I admire researchers who resort to statistics and empirical work in the field of applied linguistics.  The field will only thrive with a variety of research paradigms.

  4. 4  What was it like to be a public high school teacher of Spanish?

            The transition from the role of being a student to that of a teacher in the real world of work was not easy.  It is one thing to teach private classes and quite another to act as a full-time teacher. A job demands punctuality and responsibility. A high school teacher is assigned a “home room”, to carry out administrative duties, as well as five classes, study hall supervision, and preparation time. A full day’s work runs from 7:30 A.M to 16:30 P.M.  One has to submit to the functioning of the school system. Mid-term and final examinations were prepared by a committee. All teachers had to maintain a certain pace in order to cover half of the textbook in the first semester and the other half in the second. All my colleagues spoke Spanish, held degrees in the language and had lived in Spanish speaking countries. All of us were born in the USA (for the most part) and all of us shared a love of the language and an interest in the peoples who spoke it. One colleague was born in New York of Puerto Rican parents. José G. had two identities. We would greet one another in Spanish in the corridors and when moving from class to class. I do recall that the Spanish teachers had a number of parties that provided opportunities to speak the language and interact with colleagues. José G was from Puerto Rico and example of a real bilingual. [21] I recall thinking that he was “native” in both languages. To tell the truth, I first heard the term “native speaker” when I went to live in Brazil and a Brazilian teacher looked at me as if I were a god and uttered the words “Oh, you’re a native speaker!”

On one occasion, a colleague and I struck up a conversation in Spanish in the teacher’s room. Later on in that day, one of the English teachers (Mr. C) told me in a nice way that we should refrain from speaking Spanish in the presence of those who could not speak the language. We were indeed impolite but I mention this incident to show that we were enthusiastic about our subject.  One nice thing about teaching a foreign language in high school was that foreign language study was optional for those in the commercial or general course did not need a foreign language to be graduated from high school. Only those in the academic course (designed for those who intended to go to a college) had to take at least two years of Spanish.  The fact that students were not forced to take up a language made it easier to teach. I believe nobody should be forced to study a language he or she does not want. One great satisfaction was to see some students speaking the language. Some of them went on to a third year in the language. Who knows if some of them continued in college and used the language in their life’s work?

There was a belief that was part and parcel of language teachers back in those days. It was thought that the “best” students elected German or French while Spanish was taken by those who intended to seek higher education, but preferred an “easier” language. Attitude is important and thinking that the subject is going to be easy can be a debilitating belief.  Peacock (1999:260, apud. Curtin [22] (1979, p. 282), is correct, I feel, in his claim that “... eliminating erroneous learner beliefs is problematical.”  Teachers have to be tactful and never authoritarian in their interaction with their students with respect to beliefs. 

I must inform my readers that in some of my classes I had discipline problems with some of the students. My education courses did not inform me (maybe I didn’t listen!) about dealing with unruly students.  I learned quickly that a teacher has to solve discipline problems himself and not depend on councilors or the “office” to do this. Let me say that in my first year of teaching I had to learn how to relate to my groups. I feel that after three years of teaching, my relationship with my students had improved a great deal. All the students, for the most part, in the high school where I taught wanted to learn. One way of not causing discipline problems was not to do the same thing day in and day out.  In some schools, there were serious discipline problems, but I don’t believe they compare with the problems high school teachers face in the USA at the present time in certain school systems.      

          I wrote out rather elaborate lesson plans in the first months of my teaching. Later on, I used a plan book which we were required to use, to inform the number and pages of the lesson, the teaching points and activities to be carried out, the homework to be assigned and the homework due for each class. This procedure served as a way of maintaining a pace for we all had to be more or less on the same lesson. In case of absence, the plan book was considered important in case of the need of a substitute teacher for he or she would know what the students had done the day before and what should be done for the next class. I worried about some of my classes. Many students did well in the language but others did not do very well. One group was willing to act out dialogues (and even dress up for the presentation.). It seemed that each group had a different “personality”. No doubt my reflection about my teaching was not very profound. There is great deal of material available to teachers today on the topic called “Reflective Teaching”. That notion was unknown to me back in the 1958. [23]

I used visuals in my classes; I always posted cultural information on the bulletin boards (I should have had the students do this!). I did not use games for fear that they might invite discipline problems.  I must confess that I envy teachers today in this first decade of the twenty-first century for they can find a wealth of information about the use of games in language teaching in a variety of languages. As I said earlier, my first Spanish teacher, Miss H taught us songs. I tried but I was a failure for I don’t know how to sing. 

            One activity that gave me some satisfaction in my second year of teaching Spanish was the preparation of handout in the language with cultural readings. (I enjoyed making handouts with those wonderful ditto machines used in the 50. Every staff room had one). In this way, the class was learning the language through content.  I recall that there was some resistance in one of my classes to my attempt to disseminate Hispanic culture. In one class, two students expressed negative views with regard to Mexico and Mexicans. They presented their view of Mexico, a very stereotyped view of Mexicans with big hats “sombreros” taking a “siesta” next to some donkeys (“burros”). I wonder if they received those prejudices from their parents. I don’t think I convinced all of my students of the importance of foreign travel. I wonder how many of those American students visited foreign countries in the course of their lives. 

 4. 5 A challenge to grammar translation:  the audio-lingual revolution

In the course of my third year of teaching Spanish, a new method appeared on the market. The audio-lingual approach introduced dialogues and pattern drills. A new set of terms became common words among foreign languages teachers in the early 60s; “directed dialog”, “recombination drills”, “translation drills” and “substitution drills”.

            There were some good things about audio-lingualism. [24] The mother tongue (English) was only to be used for administrative purposes and to dispel students’ fears about grades and the new method itself. English was used briefly to explain the specific grammar point called the “Generalization”. Grammar never really disappeared from course books in the USA, no matter what the method was employed, be it audio-lingual, audio-lingua visual or communicative. 

     One of the drawbacks with the audio-lingual approach was that it demanded that the teacher be fluent in the language. The approach also demanded a lot of energy for teachers had to be on their feet always, constantly talking, repeating structures and getting students to speak what they had heard and read. There was no way a teacher could sit at his desk to conduct his class. Those teachers who had little or no fluency were not communicative and defeated the objectives of the audio-lingual approach.

    I recall that the audio-lingual approach caused some friction among faculty members who preferred the traditional way replete with a vocabulary list (with translations), grammar rules, reading passages and translations from English to Spanish.

    It is also important to be fair to the audio-lingual “revolution” in the history of language teaching in the world. Many, many students learned English and other languages via that method in many countries of the world. I don’t think my students were “parrots” for they were able to use the dialogue material and drill in other situations in an out of the language class. In fact, one student asked me in class in halting but accurate Spanish if I had slept with my girl friend.  This student was audacious but he truly communicated something he wanted to know. Some of his classmates were part of the plan to see I would be flustered by the question! I perceived that there were rehearsing the question.  This incident brings up the issue of what does it mean to be “communicative”. Much of classroom talk is not really communicative. I can communicate with someone who can tell me something I need to know and can communicate with that person if I tell him something that he or she needs to know. Truly, informing someone that the house is on fire or that a thief is stealing his or her car is indeed communicative. Ironically, being communicative, in some circumstances, may very well be to know when not to say something one might regret later on saying.  Asking the wrong question at inappropriate moment may cause some “noise” in the interaction.

4.6 Taking up Russian, getting scolded about doing that, and getting back on the track

            During the years that I taught Spanish at a high school in New Jersey, I devoted part of my spare time to the study of Russian.  I was a secondary school teacher during the well-known Cold War between the USA and the Soviet Union, the late 50s of the last century. I wanted to study a language that was believed by many to be a difficult one. Russian was very popular as a school subject and many secondary schools began to offer Russian. The late 50s and early 60s marked a period of competition between the States and the Soviet Union for dominance in space. It was a dream of mine at that time to visit the Soviet Union. I admired the prowess of Soviet athletes in the Olympics and was familiar with some of the great masters of Russian literature, Tolstoy, Turgeniev, and Dostoievesky. I also held the (false) belief that Soviet societies were equalitarian and that the “accident” of birth in those countries would not condemn children to being third rate citizens [25] . I chose to study Russian at one of the Berlitz schools in East Orange, New Jersey. I had private classes with a Russian woman. The method employed was the Direct Method that emphasized speaking (with a lot of commands and doing things like opening and closing doors, going to the window, standing up and sitting down reminiscent of the Total Physical Response Method). I enjoyed these activities.      

         Learning a new alphabet, hearing the language, having a private teacher who spoke to me in Russian and who requested me to perform activities and answer basic questions were enjoyable activities. I must confess that my fascination with grammar and the linguistic structure of Russian contributed to my interfering with the teaching method. My Russian teacher explained in English certain rules, but I observed that, while she wanted to oblige her student, she was quite nervous for the policy of the school was not to use English and to never provide explanation about the grammar of Russian. In retrospect, I think it would have been better to have submitted more to the method used. Knowing about the grammar for me was a short cut, I believed, to learning. I should not let my love of grammar and languages interfere with my submission to the teaching method. I regret doing that.

        Some time during the year of 1958, I went to visit in his home Dr. M. J. B. who was my mentor in college and who encouraged me to work in literature. There were two guests present who spoke Russian fluently and I had the opportunity to show off a bit. While my professor was impressed with my fluency (it was limited, but he did not know that), he criticized me for studying yet another language. He asked me what my direction was in life. He regretted that the time devoted to Russian was not being used to study Spanish and particularly literature. Being a student of Hispanic language and literatures was practically a religion!  This love of Spanish and things Spanish contrasted with the indifference and often disregard of that culture by the members of the dominant (American) culture.

 That meeting was important for Professor M.J. B said that if I really did want to add an additional language to my linguistic repertoire, it should be one that is related to Spanish, and the study of Portuguese would offer interesting job opportunities in the academic world in the USA. I did not react immediately to his suggestion but I did leave his home that evening with the feeling that I was losing my direction in life. I concluded that is was high time to think about doing a Master’s degree.  I must confess that Dr. M. J.B was right. One can become dispersive and fall into being a jack of all trades. One can be a dilettante at the age of 71 but not at the age of 23! I realize that I had to fight dispersion throughout my life. But, I must also confess that I enjoyed learning Russian and still delight in going through one of my Russian books.

            Before I go on to talk about my MA studies, I want to set out my beliefs as a high school teacher.

4.6    Beliefs about language learning and teaching as a high school teacher

                Even though many years have passed since my days as a high school teacher, I am able to recall the following beliefs:

              With regard to learning:

              With respect to language learning, students, to be successful, have to study and do their assignments.

              Language learning cannot be simply a matter of entertainment or merely “fun and games” in the classroom.

              Learning can only take place if the students are willing to work. Motivation is a two-way street, so to speak.

              With regard to teaching:

              The teacher must be both firm and patient. A sense of humor on the part of the teacher is important for classroom rapport.

              Teaching a language entails a variety of activities with attention to the four skills as well as culture “the fifth dimension”.

              Teaching requires preparation and there is no end to preparation

 

5. Taking a Master’s Degree, a Fulbright grant in Brazil, college teaching in the USA and much later, a career in Brazil.   

 

5.1 An MA in Applied Linguistics    

After some years of teaching, I decided to study full time for the MA degree. My interests in language teaching and language(s), coupled with my interest in education, led me to choose a course of study at Teachers´ College, Columbia University located in the City of New York. Enrolling for an advanced degree at that institution was a wise decision. The subject matter met my interests for the course of study entailed the study of linguistics as well as language teaching methodology. Linguistics as a field of knowledge was new to me. While the name of the course of study was “Teaching English as a Foreign Language”, it was in fact a course in Applied Linguistics.

            As students we were introduced to some of the classics in linguistics such as Leonard Bloomfield’s Language [26] and Gleason’s wonderful Descriptive Linguistics along with his workbook that presented fascinating exercises and problems dealing with different languages of the world. We also read, as I mentioned earlier in this narrative, Robert Lado´s Linguistics Across Cultures, just three years old, when we read it as course text in the year 1960. I cannot forget to this day two of Eugene Nida´s books, Linguistic Interludes.  Glendale, Calif.: Summer Institute of Linguistics, 1954 and Customs and Cultures. New York: Harper and Brothers, 1954.

             One belief that I hold today thanks to my MA at Teachers´ College is that students of applied linguistics must have (some) contact with the discipline of linguistics. I mention this belief here for in some quarters in the Brazilian context at the present time, there would appear to be some writers who would disparage linguistics. What was important in the MA program (for me) was the linguistic analysis of my own language. Through structural and generative linguistics, I saw English from fresh points of view, free from the bias of traditional grammar.

          As graduate students we also learned (English) phonetics and phonology. I regretted not having taken Spanish phonetics and phonology as seriously as I should have. Knowledge is truly connected.

            I don’t think my beliefs changed very much after taking my MA degree. The course of study strengthened my respect for language teaching and the profession. The MA at Columbia was flexible and even though the word “interdisciplinary” was not employed at that time, the program permitted students to take electives outside the major area of study. I was able to study Portuguese following Dr. M.J. B.´s suggestion in order to prepare a project as a candidate for a Fulbright scholarship in Brazil. [27]

          I want to mention another opportunity I had while doing the MA degree. I applied and was selected to reside at the International House near Columbia University in New York City. The House was a residence for foreign students from all over the world. There students from Japan, India, Africa, the Mid-East and South America. A limited number of Americans were admitted each year. Living at “I House” gave me the opportunity to speak Spanish with the Latin Americans and work on my Portuguese with the Brazilians who were studying at universities in New York. I was a member of the Latin American group and still have a picture as proof as my participation as actor (my role was an American tourist!) in the “Latin American Show”.

5.2 Leaving “home” once again. A year in Brazil

I could write extensively about my studies in Brazil, [28] but I want to restrict my narrative to experiences related to my beliefs about language teaching and learning. While in Brazil, I was invited by the US Consulate to teach courses at the Bi-national center, the União Cultural Brasil- Estados Unidos. This was my second opportunity to teach English. I felt I was far more prepared for the job thanks to formal training in English language teaching methodology and applied linguistics. The course book used at the União Cultural Brasil-Estados at that time (1962) was Active English, an audio-lingual approach. The students heard no Portuguese and we very keen to use English at all times. At the União, I taught young adults and older people who were different learners from the American high school adolescents. My impression was that the Brazilian students were far more eager to learn English than my high school students were to learn Spanish. So, another belief was confirmed: Students are successful if they feel what they are doing is important in their lives. Knowledge of English was viewed as essential.

But I must confess that I did have some discipline problems with one class. I made a plea over coffee to those students who wanted to learn and were irritated with the disinterest of their classmates. The students pressured their fellow classmates to take things seriously. The students said that they were paying for the course and threatened to go the Head of the school to make a formal complaint.  Not all discipline problems are that easy to solve, particularly in this troubled world today.

5.3 College teaching and preparation of high school teachers: practice teaching

Upon my return to the States, I qualified to teach Spanish and language teaching methodology at a state college in Connecticut. My duties also entailed the placement of my students in high schools in that State for a nine-week practice teaching program. This teaching post also required me to visit students in high school classes, observe classes, and interact with the supervising teacher, the department head and sometimes the principal of the school. My seven years of service in Connecticut were rewarding ones for I felt I was contributing to prepare future language teachers for employment in public and private high schools. Some of them went on to do advanced work in their respective languages.

            I want to say a few words about the Language Laboratory. When I was a high school student, there were no language laboratories in the public schools. No doubt, the US Army used recordings during the Second World War. The two high schools where I taught had no laboratory. They were expensive and not everybody knew how to use them. My first experience with a lab was as a college student of French. As students we were encouraged (but not forced) to attend the lab to listen to recordings and the tapes of our French text. Listening helped me to improve my comprehension. We could invite the lab teacher to listen to our responses for corrections if we wanted to. As a college teacher I felt that if I listened to my students´ oral production, I would be invading their privacy. Learners have to invite correction. I regret not having done more with the laboratory in my teaching.  Taking a tape recorder to class avoided the necessity to move from the regular classroom to the lab.  

          In the course of my seven years of university teaching in the States, I was fortunate to be invited to teach at two summer language institutes supported by the U.S. Department of Health, Education and Welfare. This program was designed to provide in-service preparation for high school teachers of languages. I gave one course at Elmira College (New York) in the summer of 1967 on Applied Linguistics. The other course was given in Madrid and Alicante, Spain and was organized by Fairfield University (Connecticut). In Spain, the summer of 1968, I lectured on language teaching methodology, particularly for third and fourth year Spanish courses. I mention those two experiences for I realize now that I approached applied linguistics from two different viewpoints. In the first, applied linguistics was in fact a linguistic description of the phonology, morphology and syntax of Spanish while the second one dealt with the preparation of materials for intermediate and post-intermediate Spanish classes. I found it a challenge to think about materials preparation for post-intermediate students. There were two different dimensions of applied linguistics. The discipline has a wider scope with its interdisciplinary focus today in the first decade of the 21st Century.  

 

5.4 Beliefs as a University teacher “trainer”

I continued (and still continue) to believe that future teachers must know their subject, that is, the language they teach.

Methodology is important, but it ranks second to expertise in the subject field. I wonder if everybody will agree with this belief.

My role as a university teacher led me to believe that language teachers should also teach literature and literature teachers should teach language. This was the professional stance of many teachers of Spanish (but not all) in the USA in the early 60s.   

 

5.5 Taking up permanent residence in Brazil: my home for the last thirty-six years

            In 1970, I opted, for personal reasons, to live and work in Brazil. I have been in this country for over thirty-six years. A lifetime! Looking back, I don’t regret my decision to leave the country of my birth for the experiences and opportunities I have had and the things I have learned in Brazil are “all beyond my wildest dreams”. I have been able to visit different countries. I will never forget my trip to the State of Israel. a truly multilingual land.

There is no doubt that my identity has changed owing to my working and living in Brazil. I agree with those who work in identity studies that identities are never stable and that one can add new identities and revise old(er) ones. [29]

 I agree with researchers in identity studies who consider that identities are not stable and subject to change. In my case, I have added an identity with my work here in this country.

I am happy to say that I never lost contact with the language teaching profession.  I had the opportunity to work with two Brazilian colleagues (MAAC and SB) in practice teaching at the “ Colégio de Aplicação” of the Catholic University of São Paulo (a wonderful program that should not have been interrupted).

          I am happy to say that my work at Teachers College in the area of English as a Foreign Language put me in good stead in Brazil. I was familiar with the wealth of teaching material on the market for English as a Foreign Language which, for many years, was way ahead of the materials in other languages.  Towards the end of the 80s of the last century, other languages as Spanish, French and Italian began to “catch up” with English.

          Before I came to Brazil, I thought it would be impossible to teach classes with more than twenty-five students. I now believe that it is indeed possible to teach large classes but I don’t recommend it. I still believe that there is a limit to the number of classes a teacher can give in a day. Some colleagues who taught morning, afternoon and evening were exhausted at the end of the week. Paying teachers by hour is not a sound policy. Large classes or lecture hall sessions may be feasible in some disciplines as law, history and sociology. Biology and geology are often taught in lecture sessions with a large number of students, but those disciplines also have special small group laboratory classes for individual interaction and attention.

All in all, Brazilian students are excellent learners of English. Many of my former students and colleagues have no accent that I can hear in their oral production of English. Others also write English superbly. There are of course many reasons why a good number fail to learn English. Not all have the opportunity for socio-economic reasons. This is a political problem. In my case as a learner of Portuguese, I realize that I will never lose my accent or “soquete” as one family member always says jokingly to make a play on words:  sotaque  and soquete. To tell the truth, even after thirty six years in Brazil, people ask me “Você não é brasileiro?” Sometimes it is really not a question: “Você não é brasileiro!”  I inform many that I am a citizen, but for most of them, I am still an American. The first time I heard the notion “native speaker” was back in 1970 when a Brazilian teacher of English referred to me as a “native speaker”. What struck me was her intonation. She uttered the words with a certain reverence One of my colleagues has argued that the notion “native speaker” is a myth and a racist concept I believe he is right that the term can bestow unfairly privileges on individuals merely on their place of birth (Rajagopalan, 1997). But I always wonder where I stand. I am far from being a native speaker of Portuguese. I will always be a learner. I would ask where I stand if the notion “native speaker” is to be removed from linguistic discussions.

I really should say something in this narrative about my learning of Portuguese.

I studied the language very briefly at Columbia University. I audited a course in Brazilian literature by Dr. R.S. a celebrated Brazilianist. There were a number of Brazilians at Columbia University with whom I could speak Portuguese. Knowing Spanish was indeed a help but it took quite a long time for me to not mix the two languages. I had to learn that the Portuguese words are natureza, gaivota and apresentar andnot respectively naturaleza, gaviota and presentar. Two of my students who were speech therapists offered to help me with my accent. I learned to say, for example, minha opinião and never minhapinião.

At my last teaching assignment (before retirement) I taught English for five years to undergraduate students in different fields such as medicine, engineering, history and biology at the Centro de Ensino de Línguas (CEL) (State University of Campinas). Some of the students are now doctors, engineers. One student recently sent me an e-mail and informed me that she defended her doctorate in History.  At the beginning of my teaching at the CEL, I resisted, to some degree, pair work activity. I did not know what to do with myself while the students were talking, If I listened to every word they said, I believed I would be inhibiting them and If I left the room, they might interpret my departure as a sign that I was tired of teaching. So, I remained in the class, let them talk while I prepared the next step in our lesson, until their chattering began to wane. At the outset, I felt pair work was not going to work, but the students enjoyed it, gained confidence to go on to other activities. I was convinced. I confess that my attitude about pair work changed from disbelief to belief. It is too bad I am unable to go back in time and introduce more pair work activity in my classes.

I do want to use my retirement to continue studying and learning other languages. In 2005, I decided to study Dutch for I was invited to participate in S.R´s doctoral defense in the Netherlands.  I believe that language learning is important for senior citizens and can contribute to delaying the process of ageing.

One very rewarding aspect with regard to my work in Brazil is the fact that a number of my students have taken advanced degrees and distinguished themselves not only in this country but internationally.

With regard to the vast literature on beliefs, I feel that I am at a loss about what to do with the study of beliefs. How can the research on beliefs empower students to change erroneous or destructive beliefs? If I were asked to give a “especialização” course in language teaching methodology, I wonder how much time I would devote to the literature on beliefs given the fact there is so much going on in the field of Applied Linguistics and language teaching methodology. Making a decision about what to include is indeed daunting.

 It is time to conclude this narrative. I have set out my beliefs. I do hope other colleagues and former students share their beliefs with me.  My e-mail is john.schmitz@uol.com.br

References

Alannen, Rikka A. “A sociocultural approach to young learners´ beliefs about language learning” In: Paula Kataja and Ana Maria Ferreira Barcelos, orgs. Beliefs about SLA: New Research Approaches. Dordrecht: Kluwer Academic Publishers, 2003.

Barcelos, Ana Maria Ferreira e Maria Helena Abrahão. Eds. (2006) Crenças e ensino de línguas: foco no professor, no aluno e na formação de professores. Campinas: Pontes.

Barcelos, Ana Maria Ferreira and Paula Kalaja, “Conclusion: exploring possibilities for future research on beliefs about SLA”, In: Paula Kataja and Ana Maria Ferreira Barcelos, orgs. Beliefs about SLA: New Research Approaches. Dordrecht: Kluwer Academic Publishers, 2003.

Benveniste, E. (1971) Problems in General Linguistics. Coral Gables, Florida: University of Miami Press.

Benson, P. and D. Nunan, eds. (2004). Learners´ Stories: Difference and Diversity in Language Learning.  Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

Clandinen, D. J. and F. M. Connelly. (2000). Narrative Inquiry: Experience and Story in Qualitative Research. San Francisco: Jossey-Baas.

Ellis, R. (2005) Instructed Second Language Acquisition: A Literature Review.  Wellington, New Zealand: Ministry of Education.

Lado, Robert. (1957) Linguistics Across Cultures.  Ann Arbor, Michigan: University of Michigan Press.

Peakcock, Mathew. (1999) Beliefs about language learning and their relationship to proficiency”, IJAL. Vol. 7, no. 2:247-265.

Rajagopalan, Kanavillil. (1997) Linguistics and the myth of the nativity: comments over new/non-native Englishes. Journal of Pragmatics. 27:225-231.

Rizzuto, Ana-Marie. (1993) “First Person Personal Pronouns and their Psychic Referents”, International Journal of Psycho-Analysis. 74: 535-546, Part 3, June.

Zimmerman, Barry J. (2002) “Becoming a Self-Regulated Learner: an Overview”. Theory and Practice. Vol. 41: 64-70, no. 2, spring.

                                                

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